![]() ![]() I did have was college applications and brochures stacked on my desk. That I almost had a girlfriend and now I didn't. Was, and that wasn't a good thing, not if I felt bad like this. Me? Felt sorry for me? Felt something? I hadn't been thinking about her and now I Not enough time to cobble together a miracle. Words in the English language that would win her heart. Her desperate to see me, some words that I could pull out of my head to There must be something I could say that would sway her feelings, make You want to get together before you go?" I recklessly asked. It already felt like a long time ago, even as She had almost been my girlfriend, but not quite. That she wanted to hear that, after what we had and had not been through, that Hope you win Nationals." I hope to win you back. Thought we already said good-bye when you said we shouldn't talk to eachįelt like arguing about that, protesting that I hadn't been mean, but IĪ great debater and you're going to have a great year." I'd rather be a great lover. Never expected her to call me, her voice asking for my voice. I closed the door and sat down at my desk before picking up the Left my bedroom door open as she walked away, her white cotton house shoesĬlip-clopping against her callused soles. The headphones, free to drop the phonograph needle on "Are youĮxperienced?", free to listen to Jimi as loud as I liked, free to sit downĪt my desk and work, and it wasn't even "work" if it was what IĬame in, shrouded in smoke from her Salem, and lifted the headphones off of my Victory and chrome-plated public speakers polished daily by M. Were my debate trophies, precisely positioned, the brass goddesses of winged Nightly News echoed and faded as I retreated past the white brick fireplace, where It in the white enamel dishwasher, wiped off my plastic place mat and returned Rinsed the granules of brown beef and red Heinz tomato sauce off my plate, put The issue, in your own words, is food going to waste, and the food in questionĭidn't say anything, her way of saying yes to something she didn't really want Thing," he said and forked the meat from my plate and plopped it on his. Suppose it's never too early to practice for Nationals." "GoodĬommercial came on the TV. You're accusing me of wasting meat loaf that you misappropriated without my Of talking about your dinner, what about eating it?" "But Responsible for your misallocation of resources." "Instead Since you are the equivalent of a governing body or regulatory agencyĭetermining the allotment of the meat loaf portion in question, I can't be held The same size portion that I always give you." "But It's on your plate then it's your responsibility to eat it." "But Haven't finished your meat loaf," M said. So what was the point of listening to him? Was part of this year's national debate topic and I was always hungry forĮvidence to quote, but Walter Cronkite was a newscaster, not a quotable expert, ![]() It was meat loaf and the Mekong Delta in the breakfast nook. Westmoreland commended the joint military action in the Mekong Delta as proof Saturday salmon croquettes, every Sunday pot roast, every Monday tunaĬasserole, every Tuesday ground beef tacos, every Thursday Hebrew Union hotĭogs stuffed with instant mashed potatoes and topped with Velveeta cheese. My plate was brown ground cow meat topped with red Heinz tomato sauce. We didn't talk at dinner but Walter Cronkite A black and white Zenith portable TV occupiedĪ fourth place mat where a sibling might have sat. P's hairpiece was off, revealing the tan lineĪt the top of his forehead where his pate went pale. Mats at the white Formica table in the white breakfast nook. House was like the white spaceship in "2001" and M was likeīoard the mothership, dinner was at exactly six o'clock, white plastic place I got to Bellaire High and discovered debate. Them to "The New Yorker" and carefully filed the rejection notices. With something like "I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my trousers ButĪtomic power bored me I turned to poetry to hedge my bets. I sent off to the Atomic Energy Commissionįor pamphlets on atomic energy and carefully filed them in manila folders. Relativity, he spent the rest of his life working on something called theįinish that up for old Albert, get it done well before I turned twenty. In his twenties when he came up with relativity I had plenty of time left to Wanted to be a genius, and not just any genius, but the greatest genius who had I would have denied there were anyĬharacteristics that defined or limited me. You had told me that I was shy, I would have denied it. (Or you can read it here, formatted as plain text:) ![]()
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